Dear Aspiring Writer,

We are pleased to announce that Schmedium accepts submissions from everyday citizens such as yourself!

Email headline ideas to, or drop us message on Instagram or Facebook. We will get back to you within a week, and we’ll work with you to refine your ideas and edit them to fit the general style of our site.

You will be paid in positive energy and street cred, as we currently have no money.

For satire and general humor writing tips, see this article, this article, or this book.