Author - Brolick McSwolenson

We Jacked Off a Whole Lot of Canadians Before We Realized They Don’t Cum Maple Syrup

Parents Disappointed in Son’s Make-A-Wish Request to Meet Eli Manning

New Peloton Feature Requires Users to Swear Blood Oath to Eris, Goddess of Strife

Growing a Mustache Can Trick Facial Recognition Technology into Thinking You’re a Total Studmuffin

Thanksgiving Dinner Celebrates Family’s Tradition of Being Fat Alcoholics Who Watch Football

How to Enjoy the Cybertruck if You’re Not Shaped Like a Porygon

Rabbit v. Kids: The Historic Supreme Court Case That Granted All Species Access to Trix

Here’s Bed Bath & Beyond’s Answer to the Chicken Sandwich Wars: Crispy Chicken Duvet Covers

South Dakota Releases New Anti-Prostitution Ad Campaign: ‘Hookers. We’re In Them.’

WeWork CEO Rebrands Company as WeWorked

Myles Garrett Says Mason Rudolph Provoked Him by Reminding Him He’s on the Browns

Man Stabbed to Death by Popeyes Chicken Sandwich

70% of Women Running from Serial Killers Recommend Hiding in Hedge Maze

Advil and Tums Team Up to Create Medicine That Will Never Be Quite Good Enough to Cure Your Hangover