WASHINGTON — The White House says the media has taken President Donald Trump’s recent comment “I hate every American and hope you all die” grossly out of context.
“Look, when the President said ‘I literally hope every single American dies a terrible death in excruciating agony’ it was clearly just a metaphor for tax policy,” said White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany. “And when he said ‘every single person in America is the worst person on Earth and you suck’ he was only talking about criminals and Democrats, not fine, law-abiding citizens.”
The Trump administration has not denied the quote, as it was recorded by multiple media outlets, but they claim the full transcript of his speech was much more nuanced.
“You can’t really grasp the subtle sophistication of his words in a ten-second news clip,” said McEnany. “You need to get to the part when he starts shaking the nuclear football over his head and yelling ‘I swear to God, I’ll evaporate every one of you morons right now!’ to truly understand his unique and sensible take on citizenship in the 21st century.”