CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Top scientists at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology have discovered the dishes in your sink can wait until tomorrow, according to a new report.
“We did extensive research and discovered an inverse correlation between the amount of dishes in the sink and the motivation to wash them,” said Dr. Samantha Lee. “If the household lacks a dishwasher, motivation drops to an infinitesimally small number we’re calling ‘fuck it.’”
The study found that a spouse making passive aggressive remarks about how the sink is filling up had no effect on whether the dishes would get washed, but they did increase beer consumption and TV volume.
“We determined that unless something in the sink smells bad or is attracting flies, there’s really no point,” added Lee. “You’re just going to have to wash them again anyways. Statistically speaking, it’s best to wait until tomorrow.”
Dr. Lee emphasized the results of the study will also be valid tomorrow, the next day, and on into infinity.