ISLIP, N.Y. — Local man Glen Maron expressed dismay this morning that he was stuck spending such a beautiful spring day at home with his family.
“Man, this quarantine is driving me nuts!” said Maron. “Just to think, I could have been making the best of this weather by going to a ball game or hitting the bar with the boys. But no, I’m stuck here at home watching my nitwit kids stumble around the backyard and look to me for fatherly guidance like a bunch of idiots.”
“What a waste of time!”
Maron has been working from home for nearly two months and has hardly had a minute away from his family during the entire period. Even though these have been “the most miserable days of [his] life,” he is optimistic that things will improve in the near future.
He added, “I’m hopeful this pandemic will be over soon so I can finally get out of the house and away from these morons.”