NASA, Los Lonely Boys Team Up to Calculate Distance to Heaven

nasa los lonely boys

Deciding that now was a better time than ever to undertake a project of otherworldly proportions, a team of scientists from the National Aeronautics and Space Administration has teamed up with Tex-Mex rock band Los Lonely Boys to calculate the distance to heaven.

“We’ve been stuck for years trying to answer the question ‘how far is heaven?'” said NASA physicist Lynne Westfall. “Then we realized Los Lonely Boys had been asking the same question since at least 2004. All indications show they’re much closer to figuring it out than we ever were.”

NASA says serious scientists have been pondering how far heaven is for decades. But nobody even came close to developing a viable method for measuring it until the release of Los Lonely Boys’ double platinum eponymous debut album.

“It turns out Los Lonely Boys’ smooth yet smokey blend of soulful blues-rock with a Tejano flair is precisely the combination needed for measuring the cosmos,” said Westfall. “We were really stuck before these guys joined the team.”

At press time, the team announced they were only one crispy guitar lick away from a critical breakthrough.

Violet Hart contributed reporting.