Bringing him out on his first live Easter egg hunt this Sunday, local father Terry Bell proudly showed his son how to shoot and properly field dress an Easter egg.
“See son, Easter is all about the thrill of the hunt, but there are also a lot of important skills you need to learn,” said Bell, flaying the egg’s shell with a hunting knife and ripping its yolk out onto the ground. “One day you’ll be able to pass this tradition on to your son.”
Bell noted that his family has been hunting pastel-colored eggs in these woods for generations. He says sustainable egg hunting not only provides a self-sufficient food source, it also aids conservation efforts.
“Without concerned egg hunters like us, no one would be here to care for their delicate ecosystem of wicker baskets, faux grass, and jelly beans,” said Bell. “It’s even possible they’d be hunted to extinction by invasive Easter bunnies.”
At press time, Bell and his son were preparing an Easter chili made from the day’s bag of Easter eggs and marshmallow chicks.