Woman’s Favorite Part of Caesar Salad Fantasizing About Bloodbath on Senate Floor in 44 BC

old woman caesar salad

Noting that the Ides of March was a better time than any to enjoy the healthy and delicious dish, 62-year-old Agatha Wynne said her favorite part of eating a Caesar salad was fantasizing about Julius Caesar’s bloody execution on the floor of the Roman Senate in 44 B.C.

“Every time I stab my fork into the salad, I imagine I’m driving a dagger into the flesh of the dictator,” said Wynne, scowling as she stuffed a crouton into her mouth. “Sometimes I’ll even use a knife to remind him never to disrespect the Patricians and to honor the Republic’s sacred laws. Can I get you some more water?”

The Caesar salad is perhaps the most enduring legacy of the Roman dictator who was killed by a group of Senate conspirators on March 15, 44 B.C. But Wynne says she enjoys the dish not just because of the history, but because of the savage brutality of it all.

“Just imagine it, you and 60 of your closest friends putting aside your differences for a day to absolutely rip a man’s body apart with knives, then running through the streets covered in the traitor’s blood just in time to escape the angry mobs,” she said. “Then waging a civil war for years against his allies as thousands of Romans die in battle to hang on to the last threads of what made the Republic great.”

“Excuse me, hun, can you pass the pepper?”