Opinion: The Only Way to Stop the Coronavirus Is to Create Jobs for Middle-Class American Viruses

old man opinion

The so-called “coronavirus” is taking the world by storm, infecting people from China and Australia all the way to Europe. But what often goes unsaid is what this virus is doing to other hardworking infectious diseases right here at home. The coronavirus is changing the economy as we know it, and the only way to stop it is to create jobs for middle-class American viruses, bacteria, and other blue-collar microorganisms.

Our local viruses are struggling just to find a host. It’s a darn shame, and there’s not one elected official who’s willing to take a stand.

Nothing grinds my gears more than people who are willing to get infected by a Chinese coronavirus but never even give the time of day to the poliovirus busting his back right next door. How far has this country sunk when we turn to foreign viruses to make us sick and die before we ever consider an American-made one?

Just the other day, I saw my neighbor drop to the ground hacking up a coronavirus-infected lung, yet there was a perfectly good pool of standing water contaminated with fecal amoebae right behind him. He didn’t even think to give himself American-made amoebic dysentery before he went and contracted the Chinese stuff.

Sure, a little bit of foreign competition is always a good thing. But you know there’s a problem when some of our best domestic ailments like the Common Cold and Lyme disease are shipping their operations overseas. This is a problem that can only be solved by sound policy that gives our homegrown viruses an opportunity to thrive.

I know one thing’s for sure: you won’t catch me contracting anything but 100% American-made diseases.