Introducing Beyond Broccoli, Made from 100% Real Pork

beyond broccoli
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Have a craving for a food with the disgusting taste and texture of broccoli but the nutritional value of bacon? Well say hello to Beyond Broccoli, the only vegetable made from 100% real pork!

“Every one of our pigs is fed a diet consisting entirely of wholesome, organic broccoli,” said company spokesman Brad Weimaraner. “So each bite of its flesh tastes like a crisp, delicious floret picked fresh from the vine, or whatever it is that broccoli grows on.”

Weimaraner says Beyond Broccoli is currently available in bacon, pork chop, and ham varieties. But they’re considering adding kielbasa and Canadian bacon options to break into the international market.

“Consumers will no longer have to worry about getting enough pork in their diets,” he said. “All the health benefits of an entire pork shoulder are now available in a single head of broccoli.”

At press time, the company announced the upcoming release of Impossible Carrots, made from 100% grass-fed beef liver.

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