Amid fears that his presence in the country could lead to his assassination and spark a global war, an Austro-Hungarian Archduke decided to cancel his planned flight to Iraq on Monday.
“I am saddened to have to cancel this vacation, as my family looks forward to parading around the streets of Iraq each year in our automobile,” said Archduke Franz Ferdinand Jr. “But honestly, these types of situations are usually not very friendly to Habsburgian royalty like myself.”
Ferdinand added that he would probably just pass the time in Sarajevo until the whole situation blows over.
“Sarajevo is a beautiful city this time of year,” he added. “And the people love me there.”