Local dentist Dr. Rick Lawson clearly picked up the box of human teeth he gave as a Christmas gift at the last minute, his wife reported.
“I’m really touched that he went through all the trouble to wrap it so nice,” said his wife, Christina Lawson. “But it’s so obvious that he ripped these out of the skulls of unsuspecting patients today after he realized that he forgot to get me a present.”
Lawson denies that he forgot to buy his wife a gift right up until the morning he went to work on Christmas Eve. Instead, he claims he painstakingly acquired the dozens of human teeth he gave over the course of months.
“Yup. I went to all the finest teeth stores in New York to find the ones that she would love. Spent a pretty penny on them too,” he said. “It’s just a coincidence that all my Christmas Eve patients needed multiple teeth pulled.”
At press time, Lawson was scrambling to stuff a roll of floss and a mouth mirror into a gift bag after realizing he forgot to get something for his daughter.