If ‘Die Hard’ Isn’t a Christmas Movie Then How Come Bruce Willis Is Tied Up Under My Tree Screaming ‘Yippie Ki Yay, Motherfucker’?

bruce willis under christmas tree

Around this time every year, Americans begin to hassle one another over one of the most polarizing questions of our time: is 1988 action film Die Hard a Christmas movie or not?

While the film takes place around Christmas time and contains numerous references to the holiday, there remain a number of Americans firmly in the “no” camp.

Well, I have some news for you naysayers: if Die Hard isn’t a Christmas movie, then how come Bruce Willis is tied up under my Christmas tree screaming “yippe ki yay, motherfucker”?

Answer me that.

If Die Hard is a pure action movie that has nothing to do with Christmas, like some of you claim, then explain why the actor who plays John McClane is bound and gagged in my living room, thrashing around my family’s presents trying to escape. Does that not sound Christmassy to you?

To further prove my point, prior to kidnapping Bruce Willis, dressing him in a Santa outfit, and stuffing him under my tree, I abducted a mall Santa Claus and threw him off the 35th floor of Nakatomi Plaza. If that doesn’t prove that Die Hard is a Christmas movie, then I don’t know what will.

If only Alan Rickman were alive today, who knows what horrible things I would do to him to prove that Hans Gruber took a group of employees hostage on Christmas Eve, 1988, thus solidifying the fact that Die Hard is a Christmas movie?

Sure, Willis stopped screaming his famous line from the movie once I put the gag back in his mouth and secured it with duct tape, but that doesn’t change anything. The fact of the matter is Die Hard is a Christmas movie, and I have Bruce Willis as my prisoner to prove it.

Maxx Hardo and WT Door contributed reporting.