Halloween is a great time to dress your pets up in cute outfits and show them off around town. Some pets even get political with their outfits in an attempt to make a statement. But this dog made the mistake of dressing up as a libertarian this Halloween, and within seconds he lost the election.
“I just don’t think the country is ready for a dog in a third party candidate costume,” said Halloween party host Rick Lawton. “Maybe if his fiscal policies were a bit more moderate he would have had a chance. But even if he won over the independents, I don’t think he would have taken any votes in the electoral college.”
Many at the party agreed with the dog’s advocacy of free market capitalism, limited trips to the vet, and individual choice on when to go for walks, but they said they just couldn’t see him defeating Rick’s wife in a Trump costume or a cat dressed as Pete Buttigieg.
“There are hardworking dogs out there who sit and shake day and night to get treats. Yet half of the food in the house is handed out to cats who have never worked a day in their lives,” said the dog. “The humans clearly are not qualified to decide who gets treats or not. That should be determined by the market.”
At press time, election results showed that the dog gained an impressive 4.2% of votes after a video surfaced showing that he did, in fact, know what Aleppo was.
Falconetti contributed reporting.