SAVANNAH, Georgia – Captain Loyall H. Thibado, former editor of the Times-Picayune and dead since 1833, has been haunting beautifully derelict buildings along the Savannah waterfront demanding clear, concise séances, sources say.
“The undead don’t have time or interest for your caterwallowing,” said Thibado, smoking a haunted pipe. “Tell the story. No séance needs to go past a statement of fact and simple afterworld request.”
Thibado has been known to cut off seances at exactly three paragraphs and add and em-dashes to Ouija boards used to summon him.
Added Thibado, checking the attribution on a conjuring quote, “Being dead doesn’t mean being wrong.”