In perhaps the biggest bombshell to date in the climate debate, Mother Nature, the life-giving force of all Earthly beings, has been photographed wearing a “Make America Great Again” hat.
Her overt support for President Donald Trump has prompted both Democrats and Republicans to reconsider their stances on environmental policy.
“I, for one, never liked the environment,” said Democratic Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. “I think it’s disgusting what the environment has been doing to working class Americans. Congress needs to pass laws to eradicate the environment before the damage it does is irreversible.”
Republicans, on the other hand, have come out strongly in support of Mother Nature.
“I think the record will show that I’ve been on the side of the environment from day one,” said Republican Senator Tom Cotton. “The environment represents true, down-to-earth American values. Democrats try to look down on us environmentalists, but we’re out here serving Mother Nature day in and day out.”
While Mother Nature has never officially declared support for either party, experts always assumed she leaned left. Now politicians are worried her actions might spark further politicization of primordial beings.
“Father time. The Easter Bunny. Mother Nature is setting a dangerous precedent for these other beings to align with a political party,” said one pundit. “And who knows what will happen if God turns out to be a liberal?”