So you’re a self-described “creative”? You’re an artist, a writer, someone who sees the world a little different? You don’t do it for the money but for the sheer joy of creating, to make a difference in people’s lives?
If that sounds like you, then you’re in luck. We’re looking for creatives to come work for us for almost no pay, and we’re ready to hire now.
In this role, you will have the opportunity to be creative 24/7. Many of our employees have discovered creative ways to survive on the streets scavenging for food. One creative even figured out how to splint her own broken leg after she was hit by a car but couldn’t afford a hospital bill!
On top of that, the housing market in our city is more expensive than ever. Many creatives are finding unique ways to fit into a $4,000-dollar-a-month studio apartment. How many creatives can you fit into yours? 6? 7? Some people think way outside the box and even stack creatives in the closet.
At our company, you won’t have to worry about societal constructs like money and insurance. You’ll simply have to come to work for hours determined by our management and be tethered to us indefinitely because you’re broke and afraid of losing this one little thing you have going for you.
Maybe you’re thinking that a creative gig that frees you from the burden of a livable wage isn’t for you? Maybe you’re thinking, “That sounds a little bit like indentured servitude.” Well we’ve got news for you:
You should have gone to college for something marketable like engineering or accounting! It’s not our fault you got a liberal arts degree and your parents couldn’t afford to pay your way through a master’s program. Maybe you should have networked better and befriended that guy down the hall freshman year whose dad was a VP of JP Morgan.
But we think you’d be a great fit. So if you’re ready to jump into the world of creativity, apply now!
Note: this position requires 7+ years of professional experience in the creative industry and proficiency in Adobe Photoshop, Illustrator, InDesign, and Dreamweaver. 3+ years experience with video editing, Google Analytics, HTML, CSS, Python, artificial intelligence (AI), and fighter jet dogfighting tactics required.