Fattest Friend Brought Along on Safari Just in Case

lion staring at fat man

While planning his upcoming 2-day safari across southern Botswana, Canadian tourist Hector Gibson made a last-minute decision to invite his fattest friend along for the ride as a precautionary measure.

“Come on man, I’ll even pay for your ticket,” Gibson told his friend, Dean Fulcher, the slowest person he knows, after he expressed anxiety about spending 18 hours in an airplane seat far too small for him. “Don’t you want to find out what kind of food they have in Africa?”

Gibson knew his friend was not normally one to turn down a good meal. Still, Fulcher remained hesitant.

“Why invite me?” asked the morbidly obese data scientist. “Why not your girlfriend or one of your brothers?”

“My girlfriend? I can’t outru—I mean because she’s scared of lions!” said Gibson.

Fulcher eventually agreed to accompany him, admitting he probably could use the exercise.

The pair later enjoyed a marvelous journey through the Botswanan Bush, seeing all manner of exotic and wondrous wildlife and making memories that would last a lifetime. Unfortunately for Fulcher, that lifetime would prove to be quite short, as he was left behind and eaten by hyenas while the rest of the group made their escape.