Colin Kaepernick Protests Reebok Pumps Over Semblance to Early American Flag Prototype

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Shoe giant Reebok has pulled its famous “Pump” shoes from the shelves after Colin Kaepernick voiced concerns that they bore a likeness to an early prototype of the American flag.

The flag, which Betsy Ross designed just weeks before the 13-star model adopted in 1777, featured 13 alternating white and red stripes and a size 13 Reebok Pump in a blue canton.

“Ross knew that General George Washington liked to get his pump on when he was leading the Continental Army through the war,” said historian Calvin Parry. “He always used his pumps for extra ankle and foot support during the Battles of Long Island and Trenton.”

Kaepernick admitted that Reebok Pumps made a valuable contribution to the American Revolution and throughout much of the country’s history, but that the flag was still connected to an era of slavery.

Many of Kaepernick’s critics say that the former quarterback “doesn’t even know what it means to pump” or “probably has never even pumped before.”

“If Kaepernick truly knew what it meant to pump, I’m sure his opinion would be different,” said Parry. “Now, George Washington at Valley Forge, that’s a guy who knew how to pump.”