Fast food restaurant Chick-fil-A has announced a recall of over 10,000 chickens which they say were accidentally contaminated with gayness.
Chick-fil-A inspectors have a stringent process for checking their chickens’ heterosexually before processing them as food, but one batch managed to make it past their strict procedures. The chickens were immediately recalled after one diner in North Carolina noticed his Chick-n-strips™ tasted “a little queer.”
“Our customers have nothing to worry about. The chances that you will actually become gay from eating a contaminated chicken are extremely low,” said company spokesman Dick Halgren. “We assure you that all homosexual chickens have been properly disposed of, and that everything currently being served in our establishments is one hundred percent certified straight.”
Investigators believe the chickens may have become contaminated after a farm employee accidentally played Diana Ross’s 1980 hit “I’m Coming Out” over the loudspeakers in their coop.
If you or someone you know experiences sudden signs of gayness after consuming Chick-fil-A, you should consult a medical professional immediately.