This Company Helps Millennials Own a Home by Killing Their Parents

Homeownership among young people is at an all time low. Studies show that only about 35% of millennials own a home. With housing prices on the rise, this trend is only getting worse.

However, there is one company out there that has vowed to help millennials achieve their homeownership goals. Killer Homes, Inc. is helping hundreds of young people own their very own home by killing their parents and letting them inherit their property.

“The way Killer Homes, Inc. works is simple. For an easy 20% down payment plus a manageable 30 year fixed rate loan, we will murder your parents so you can move into their house without worrying about the burden of a mortgage,” said Killer Homes CEO Ty Morgan. “We even have a user-friendly app so you can order your parents’ assassination without ever leaving the comfort of their home (which will eventually be yours).”

Already, millennials are signing up in droves.

“If it wasn’t for Killer Homes, Inc. I probably would have been living with my parents until age 35 or 40. But Ty and his team came in and eliminated them painlessly and humanely, and now I’m an independent homeowner at 29,” said millennial Hudson Sparks. “I recommend this service to anyone whose parents own property.”

Some millennials have complained that living without their parents has come at a cost, as there is no one left to cook, clean, and pay their bills. But Morgan says he has a solution for that, too.

“We’re already prototyping Parents 2.0, artificially intelligent robots which will be able to move in with millennial homeowners and do all the things that responsible adults are supposed to do,” he said. “You’re gonna love it.”

Falconetti contributed reporting.