Dr. Dre Performs Emergency Gangsterectomy to Save Patient’s Rhythm

Dr. Dre Performs Emergency Gangsterectomy to Save Patient's Rhythm

Noting that the patient had gone into cardiac arrest due to a critical lack of groove, renowned chronicologist Dr. Dre performed an emergency gangsterectomy procedure to save the patient’s rhythm.

“He’s lucky we caught this when we did. If his family members hadn’t noticed that he had absolutely no flow out on the dance floor, he might have died,” said Dr. Dre, who received his medical degree from the renowned Institute of Formidable Knocks School of Medicine. “I was worried he might have lost his hearing as well, because it seemed for a while that he couldn’t even hear the beat.”

Dr. Dre said his team first had to slow the tempo down to about 80 beats per minute in order to get the patient in step. Assistant Surgeon Snoop Dogg then had to anesthetize him with a triple dose of gin and juice.

“I’m glad the surgery turned out so well. Once someone loses their rhythm, there’s no guarantee they’ll ever be able to bust a move again,” said Dr. Dre. “It’s hard to explain to the family that sometimes surgery is like this and like that and like this and uh. But other times it’s like that and like this and like that and uh.”

He added, “I just hope he doesn’t act like he forgot about this procedure.”