How to Convince Your Boss You’re Not Hungover Even Though You’re Covered in Vomit and Wearing a Sombrero

hungover at work

So Cinco de Mayo fell on a Sunday this year? The need to get up for work on Monday can prohibit a lot of people from celebrating the holiday in full.

But not you. You wouldn’t let a little thing like work stop you from taking advantage of half-price margaritas. So you’re a little bit hungover coming into work Monday morning. No big deal, we’ve got you covered. Here’s some tips on how to convince your boss that you’re not hungover even though you’re still wearing a giant sombrero and are completely covered in vomit.

1. Answer his questions with questions. Your boss might feel the need to ask petty questions like, “Why do you reek of tequila?” or “Why did you show up at 11 a.m. and puke on the reception desk?” If he does, throw the questions right back at him. “Do I smell like tequila?” “Didn’t you throw up on the reception desk?” “Is my car being parked on the front lawn really the problem we should be worried about right now?”

2. Stress the importance of a culturally diverse workplace. You celebrated Cinco de Mayo hard, all right. That’s because you wanted to immerse yourself fully in Mexican culture. Your boss doesn’t hate other cultures, does he?

3. Deny, deny, deny. If all else fails, deny his claims that your are clearly hungover and possibly still drunk. “No, that is not vomit on my shirt. It’s guacamole. Guacamole makes me really tired. That’s what caused me to fall asleep under my desk. And yes, that’s also guacamole on your shoes, sorry.”