A new report by the US Federation of Brunchers predicts that avocado and avocado toast shortages caused by the border shutdown could affect weekend brunches across the country.
“This could be the biggest disaster the brunch community has seen since the Great Mimosa Blight of ’96,” said USFB spokesman Thad Justin. “Brunchers in the Southwest will be hit particularly hard. But brunch hotspots in New York and D.C. will also feel the effects. God forbid the border shutdown happens on a Saturday morning.”
Millennials in California and Oregon are attending brunches in hoards in an effort to stock up on the commodity. Many have taken to the streets in protest, claiming that fresh and delicious avocados on their morning toast are a basic human right.
“I don’t know what kind of a country we’re living in if I can’t eat avocado toast and get blackout drunk at 11 a.m. on a Sunday,” added Justin. “It’s time for the Brunch Brigades to fight back.”
WT Door contributed reporting.