Nation’s Close-talkers Announce Support for Biden Campaign

biden close talker personal space

After a number of accusers came forward on Monday with claims that former Vice President Joe Biden invaded their personal space in ways that made them uncomfortable, the nation’s close-talkers announced support for his 2020 presidential run.

“He is truly one of the greats,” said chairman of Close-talkers USA, Cliff Dryden. “In nearly every interaction, he gets so close you can actually smell, feel, and taste his breath. If you’re lucky, you may even get physical contact.”

While Biden has long been known as a close-talker, many voters have gotten behind other candidates known to invade personal space. Many had previously thrown support behind Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand, who is well known for maintaining knee-to-knee contact on airplanes. Sen. Elizabeth Warren is also known to give patronizing pats on the back to complete strangers in conversation.

“I had hope for Beto O’Rourke after he stood touching arms with me in line at Starbucks,” said Dryden. “But then he realized I wasn’t his wife, and he apologized and moved away. I just can’t support someone like that.”