Guy Who Hits Ball Wealthier Than Small Country

mike trout contract

LOS ANGELES — Reports indicate that a local guy who hits a ball approximately 162 days per year is in the midst of signing a contract that would put his income above the levels of several small countries.

Sources say the contract for Angels outfielder Mike Trout will make him wealthier than several Pacific Island nations, to include the countries of Kiribati, Tuvalu, and Palau.

“I really saw a big boost to my GDP when I made improvements to my infrastructure and on base percentage,” said Trout. “I think if I invest in my manufacturing sector and increase my runs batted in, I can overtake São Tomé and Príncipe within the next five years.”

At press time, Trout was considering deregulating his batting average and cutting taxes on his slugging percentage in order to encourage foreign investment.