Colorado Runner Gunned Down by Mountain Lion’s Brother Outside Hospital

man kills mountain lion

Leaving the emergency room one day after killing a mountain lion that attacked him on a trail in Colorado, a local man was gunned down in cold blood by the animal’s brother as an act of revenge outside a hospital in Denver.

Sources say the unnamed jogger had just been released from the hospital and was preparing to catch a cab home when the cougar’s brother pulled up in a black Lincoln Continental and fired 50-60 rounds from a Thompson submachine gun out the window.

“This is for Vinny, you son of a bitch!” witnesses claim the mountain lion yelled out the window before speeding off.

The man reportedly strangled the big cat to death after it attacked him on a trail in Horsetooth Mountain Open Space. Experts now believe the lion may have been a member of the notorious Pumaglione crime family, who have been known to control the sheep and livestock raiding industry in the area for decades.

“If you encounter a mountain lion on the trail as this gentlemen did, it is important to fight with all your might to survive,” said Colorado Parks and Wildlife Director Cliff Hunt. “That is, unless he makes you an offer you can’t refuse. Then it is best to accept his offer and to give him a cut of your profits in exchange for protection.”

While no bystanders were killed in the action, a number of deer also mysteriously disappeared from the area around the same time.