Gillette Introduces New Razor Specifically Designed to Cut Off Men’s Testicles

gillette toxic masculinity ad

Facing mixed and highly emotional reviews regarding a commercial that addresses “toxic masculinity,” men’s shaving brand Gillette has released a new razor specifically designed to cut off men’s testicles.

“We felt our initial efforts to address the problem of toxic masculinity, while well-intentioned, didn’t go far enough. It appears that merely addressing the issue through advertising was insufficient, so we decided to create a product that can physically excise the source of each man’s toxicity,” read a statement from the company. “The new model can quite literally shave away toxic masculinity, and will ensure that boys will no longer be boys.”

The Gillette Mach 7 Katana comes equipped with 7 diamond cut blades to ensure a smooth gelding, as well as a heating pad which automatically cauterizes the wound.

While many men agreed with Gillette’s message that bullying and harassment need to stop, some believe that castration of the entire male population is a step too far.

“Personally, I have never bullied or assaulted anybody. So I’m offended that Gillette thinks I should cut my balls off,” said longtime customer Rick Sullivan. “Really it’s just a small percentage of the population who give men a bad name. They’re the ones who need this product.”

At press time, efforts by the male leggings industry to address toxic masculinity fell on deaf ears, as the entire male population who wear them had already been castrated.