Initial efforts by the Trump administration to build a wall along the U.S.-Mexico border were accelerated today after a horde of Mongol warriors poured into the country and pillaged Phoenix, Arizona.
“The horror was unimaginable. Bands of mounted cavalry swept in from the Central American Steppe, leaving nothing but ash and bodies in their wake,” said Phoenix resident Mark Jones. “If we don’t get this wall built fast, the entire empire could be at risk.”
In addition to providing defense against invading nomadic barbarians, the wall is also intended to protect the valuable Silk Road trade route that runs across southern New Mexico.
“For centuries our ancestors have fought and died along this border to protect our dynastic succession from the invading Mongols,” said President Donald Trump. “Let us now stand strong against these raiding horsemen who are trying to plunder our jobs.”
At press time, the U.S. military had rushed to reinforce the frozen black wall on its northern border after a 60-foot-tall Canadian giant attempted to breach it.