Congress Passes Marijuana Bill, Puffs It Twice, Passes It Again

Congress Passes Marijuana Bill, Puffs It Twice, Passes It Again

Minutes after passing a bill legalizing marijuana, members of both houses of Congress reportedly took two puffs of the bill before passing it on to the next official, who subsequently puffed it twice and passed it again.

“Yo, quit hoggin’ that spliff, B,” said Senator Ted Cruz to Senator Bernie Sanders. “We gotta sign it, too.”

The bill, which was a surprise addendum to the 2018 Farm Bill that legalized hemp, was variously described by lawmakers as “a truly bipartisan accomplishment” and “chill as fuck.”

“This is what lawmaking should be about, man,” said a bleary-eyed Senator Mitch McConnell. “Just hangin’ with your brothers and sisters, passin’ laws and listenin’ to tunes.”

At press time, the House of Representatives had temporarily disbanded their drum circle to introduce a budgetary measure designed to triple Congress’s annual French fries appropriations.