Just weeks after filing for bankruptcy, retail giant Sears has released a new advertising campaign aimed to connect with their core demographic of the homeless guy living in the hardware aisle.
The campaign will feature a multi-layered approach to convince “Dusty Pete” to purchase items for his daily activities wandering around the semi-abandoned store in Columbus, Ohio.
“The Kenmore 4 burner gas grill is perfect for charring the frozen burgers you stole from the Ruby Tuesday’s in section C,” reads one ad. “And its stainless steel finish is easy to clean, ensuring you won’t be caught out by store manager Bill when he opens up in the morning.”
Other ads in the campaign aim to convince Pete to “at least pull [his] weight” when it comes to cleaning duties around the store.
“We offer a full line of Clorox cleaning products perfectly suited for mopping up the mess you made in the men’s clothing section,” the ad goes on. “And while we offer a wide variety of modern toilet models, they are not connected to the plumbing system, so please stop defecating in them.”