Clever Dad Takes 400 Mile Detour to Avoid Toll Booth

Dad Actually Turns This Car Around Right Now, Mister

NEW YORK — Grinning with content as he pulled off Interstate 95, clever dad Rip Hamlin shrewdly took a 400 mile detour to avoid paying a toll at the George Washington Bridge.

“Nope. Government’s not gonna get a dime from me this time,” said the astute father of three, as the family SUV wound farther and farther through the back roads of upstate New York. “I know half a dozen shortcuts that will bypass every toll from here to Baltimore.”

Family members say Hamlin’s sage-like abilities to avoid tolls during their annual drive to South Carolina for vacation have saved the family tens of dollars and avoided minutes of traffic over the past few years.

“Yeah. These back roads are kind of scenic, I guess,” said fourteen-year-old daughter Lana. “I just don’t like how we all have to pee in bottles the whole trip because he refuses to pull over at rest stops.”

Despite Hamlin’s keen navigation skills, some family members disagree with his insistence on driving hundreds of miles out of the way to avoid tolls.

“He once drove us halfway through West Virginia to avoid a four dollar toll on the Delaware Memorial Bridge,” said wife Ashley. “We ended up paying like 70 dollars in gas, blowing out a tire, and almost getting mauled by a cougar.”

At press time, Hamlin was rerouting the car through Ohio to avoid rush hour traffic in Philadelphia.