PHOENIX, Ariz. — Noting that they were not yet ready to make a final decision on whether their two-year-old son Hayden was ready to become an official member of the family, local couple Bert and Amanda Hemmis clarified that the recently-adopted child was still in beta testing.
“He made it through the first round of of alpha testing just fine. Now it’s a matter of bringing him around to a few social functions to make sure he fits with our family and friends demographic,” said Ms. Hemmis. “If we can’t debug some of his major issues, then we’ll have to head back to the drawing board.”
Hayden’s parents added that, while he received positive feedback from neighbors Sue and Anthony at a recent dinner party, bouts of excessive whining at barbecues or throwing temper tantrums in public could be grounds to scrap him altogether.
“It’s like they say in the business world: you just need to keep throwing ideas against the wall and see what sticks,” added Mr. Hemmis. “We’ve probably rifled through two or three dozen children already, and none was quite right for us. But eventually we’ll get one that sticks.”