Report: Dad Still Watching Golf

Report: Dad Still Watching Golf

An investigative report from the Institute of Dadological Sciences has revealed that local father Rick Dubinski was still watching golf on Saturday afternoon.

“We observed the subject over the course of multiple weekends and found he is specifically adapted to watch golf for two, or even three, days straight,” said researcher Dr. Marcus Gold. “He sleeps exactly nineteen minutes out of every hour, the precise amount of time needed to sustain a multi-day golf binge while also allowing time to consume one beer and a handful of peanuts between naps. Truly remarkable.”

While no controlled studies have yet been performed, the report added that there is a great deal of anecdotal evidence of other dads being able to transition seamlessly between golf and baseball games.

“It seems that once a dad establishes his territory in and around the recliner, he is able to enter a state of near hibernation and remain for hours with nothing to sustain him but potato chips and Miller Light,” added Dr. Gold. “There is no evidence in the scientific literature of any other family members being able to do this. It is a true test of endurance.”