Space Force Promises to Blow Up Uranus

Space Force Promises to Blow Up Uranus

SPACE — Just one day after President Donald Trump revealed plans to create a separate military service for space operations, a Space Force spokesman has announced that in its inaugural mission the service plans to “totally blow up Uranus.”

“Our forces will be expertly trained in forcible entry operations, so Uranus better look out,” said Cmdr. Bryan Welsh. “It’s gonna be tight, but I think our ships have enough protection to squeeze in there unscathed.”

Dubbed “Operation Black Hole,” Space Force leadership admits this would be their first time trying a mission of this nature. Many in the Department of Defense had been considering messing with Uranus for a while, Welsh says, but they had always been “too nervous to ask.”

While the mission to Uranus has gained widespread support in the military community, many Mars advocates have questioned whether the Space Force will ever consider sending ships straight from Uranus to Mars.

“Absolutely not,” said Welsh. “You never go Uranus to Mars.”

WT Door contributed reporting.