Less than 24 hours after President Donald Trump canceled the Super Bowl LII champion Philadelphia Eagles’ visit to the nation’s capital, a disoriented quarterback Nick Foles was seen wandering the halls of the White House looking for his teammates.
“Hey where’d everybody go? This isn’t funny anymore guys,” said Foles, carefully checking behind the Oval Office’s Resolute desk. “Malcolm? Coach P? I know you’re in here somewhere.”
According to sources, Foles’ cell phone battery died on the drive down from Philadelphia on Monday evening, and he never got the message that the event was cancelled. But Secret Service agents say they decided to let him into the White House this morning because they “kind of felt bad.”
“The poor guy has been roaming around the West Wing all day,” said Secret Service officer Jim Kerrigan. “We’re all afraid to tell him the event is off because he just seems so excited about it.”
Witnesses claim they spotted Foles talking to a portrait of 25th President William McKinley for over fifteen minutes, mistaking it for Eagles head coach Doug Pederson.
“He must have checked the Green Room a half dozen times already,” added Kerrigan. “It’s pretty depressing. I think we’ll just let him look a little longer.”