Valerie Jarrett to Star in ‘Planet of the Apes’ Remake Directed by Roseanne Barr

Valerie Jarrett to Star in 'Planet of the Apes' Remake Directed by Roseanne Barr

In a sneak peak into her latest creative project, television starlet Roseanne Barr announced via Twitter on Tuesday that she will be producing and directing a Planet of the Apes remake starring former advisor to President Obama Valerie Jarrett.

The film, titled Planet of the Apes 4: The Apes vs. The Muslim Brotherhood, will feature Jarrett as senior advisor to the president of the Muslim Brotherhood in their war with the apes in a distant future where that is somehow marketable.

“I’m really excited to work with this heavyweight of American TV,” tweeted Jarrett, who only recently made the shift from government into acting. “I agree that the premise of the movie is a bit odd, but I trust Roseanne’s wide breadth of experience on this one.”

“Muslim brotherhood and planet of the apes had a baby=vj,” read the tweet. The ABC network initially cancelled Barr’s eponymous TV series amid calls that it was racist, but they have since reinstated her show, admitting that her rehash of the 1968 classic “might actually be something we’d watch when we’re high.”

“I guess that teaser could have been phrased a little better. I was taking a shitload of Ambien at the time and my wop neighbors wouldn’t stop yelling about spaghetti and meatballs,” admitted Barr. “But trust me, this movie is going to be great whether you’re taking Ambien or not.”

At press time, Hollywood leading light Bill Cosby announced that he will be producing a remake of the 1993 hit Sleepless in Seattle titled Asleep in My Studio Apartment in Seattle. 

Mason Bube and Falconetti contributed reporting.