MELBOURNE, Australia — Echoing the growing dependence of adult marsupials on their parents’ support, sources say a local 30-year-old kangaroo is still living in his mother’s pouch.
“The market for doing kangaroo stuff has just dried up,” said Joey, who has been unemployed since he was fired from his pizza delivery job two years ago. “But I’m pretty sure my ska band will hit it big any day now.”
With high real estate prices and the burden of college debt, the Outback has seen more and more kangaroos staying in their mothers’ pouches well into their 20s and 30s. This takes a toll on the whole family—Joey’s parents are worried that his lack of motivation may prevent him from ever striking out on his own and getting a respectable job boxing tourists or hopping around aimlessly.
“This generation of ‘roos is just so lazy,” said Joey’s mother. “He won’t even chew his own grass with out me regurgitating it for him first.”
After multiple attempts to convince him to leave failed, Joey’s parents considered suing him. His mother says she even offered him money to cover a few months’ rent in a eucalyptus bush. For now, however, he’s still there.
Added Joey, while eating a box of leftover spaghetti his mother reheated for him, “It’s just temporary.”