A team of archaeologists working in southern France have found evidence that as early as two million years ago ancient hominids attempted to use tools before realizing they had no idea what they were doing, giving up, and calling the plumber.
The remarkable discovery provides evidence that ancient man became completely incompetent in the use of household tools millions of years earlier than previously thought.
“We originally believed that Neanderthals first became entirely useless around the house about 200,000 years ago,” said lead scientist Dr. Francois Bernard, “but this find indicates Homo erectus may have already been totally inept by the time he migrated into Europe.”
Bernard claims the find will offer new insights into the origin of our species’ worthlessness.
“We found perfectly fossilized remains of a husband ruffling through his tool box before realizing the task was beyond his meager capabilities,” said Bernard. “The resemblance to modern man’s miserably pathetic mechanical abilities is stunning.”
“Yep, this looks like a job for a professional,” Bernard postulates the man must have said in series of grunts and groans that were the language of the time, after taking a look under the sink.
At press time, a team working in Africa discovered evidence that a Homo habilis father may have fallen asleep in his recliner while watching an ancient version of baseball as early as 2.5 million years ago.