Homicidal Surfer Hangs Ten

Homicidal Surfer Hangs Ten, Schmedium

LAGUNA BEACH, Calif. – Police have apprehended the suspect believed to be responsible for last month’s string of totally gnarly serial murders. Known by many names: “The Cowabunga Killer,” “The Bodacious Butcher,” and “Jack the Shredder,” the serial murderer has been at large for the past several weeks, majorly harshing the mellow of the Laguna Beach community.

Police arrested suspect, Bodie Larson, Friday morning in a dawn patrol raid which he referred to as “totally bogus.”

“They nabbed me right when I was about to catch a sick barrel,” lamented the 23 year-old beach bum.

Authorities turned their attention to Larson after discovering a crime scene DNA sample that matched his bushy, bushy blonde hairdo. He has been charged with ten counts of murder and is being held without bail until trial in July.

Larson is reportedly “less than stoked” about the endless summer of legal proceedings that awaits. But his arrest marks a turning of the tide in seaside crime.

Falconetti contributed reporting.