DMZ, Korean Peninsula — Following a historic summit on Friday in which the leaders of North and South Korea met to discuss ending the 68-year-old Korean War, North Korean Leader Kim Jong Un bid a sincere and heartfelt farewell to the McDonald’s restaurant where the two leaders ate lunch.
“It is truly momentous how they can bring together two separate all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, and onions on a single, peaceful sesame seed bun,” said Kim, wiping a tear of joy from his eye. “Just yesterday I would have thought this was impossible.”
Both men say the talks were highly positive aside from one misplaced order of fries, and they will discuss peace and denuclearization with the U.S. in the near future.
“I think it was the Oreo McFlurry that finally won him over,” said South Korean President Moon Jae-in. “He ate like seven of them, after all.”
President Donald Trump praised the meeting, saying he has one more top secret offer to bring to the table during the next summit.
“I can’t discuss the details of what that deal is at this time,” he said, attempting to hide what was clearly a Chic-fil-A Spicy Deluxe Sandwich in his pocket, “but let me tell you, it’s going to be covered in a delicious mixture of what is probably honey mustard and barbecue sauce.”