In a move that’s making buzz all over Capitol Hill, Tom Anderson of MySpace fame has offered to answer questions posed by the Senate Judiciary Committee. Recognizing he may not be the expert on all questions asked, Tom has offered to bring his top 8 friends along with him.
“We want to assure you that we are protecting the privacy of our dozens of users,” cited Tom in anticipation of the hearing.
Tom mentioned the sole privacy breach in the last 5 years involved a Des Moines-based band called the Bernie Sanders Experience. Band leader Steven McCabe claimed a rival band used the MySpace platform to poach their drummer.
“Des Moines is tough market for drummers,” griped McCabe. “Everyone wants to play bass. This privacy breach by MySpace will set us back months.”
The congressional chatter covered a broad spectrum. The most common response from hill interns was “what is MySpace?”, while committee member Senator Ted Cruz was teeming with anticipation.
“I spend 2-3 hours a day on MySpace, and it’s about time we had this social media titan take a dose of national accountability,” said Cruz, pulling a CVS-receipt-length list of questions he had already prepared for Tom. “First things first, can you help me change my MySpace background to Donald Trump’s official photo?”
Senate Judiciary staffers said the hearing is unlikely to occur seeing as Tom Anderson was fired from MySpace in 2009.
Added Cruz, “Well now I’ll never figure out how to post the songs my Lady Gaga cover band recorded.”