Two years ago I was going through a rough patch.
How was I, just your average upper-middle class white college graduate from Connecticut, supposed to get people to respect me as a bold man without actually having to do or say anything bold or manly? How was I, with my soft skin and fragile accountant’s wrists, supposed show people that I was a man of brawn and grit?
I felt that the man inside me was dying. I knew I had to do something about it but didn’t know what.
Finally, I decided I wasn’t going to be just another wimp from New Haven. I was going to do something with my life. I was going to be a real man.
That’s when I grew a beard and bought a flannel shirt jacket.
Let that sink in for a minute.
I grew a beard and bought a flannel shirt jacket, and now I’m a fucking badass.
Almost overnight my testosterone levels increased by 300%. I started chopping wood all day at my father’s lake house. I was practically sweating semen.
Best of all, people started looking at me with respect.
These two simple acts of growing a majestic beard and buying a two-hundred dollar flannel shacket from L.L. Bean transformed me from a twenty-something yuppy to the man I am today. A real man.
Now I’m not saying that growing a beard and wearing a flannel shirt jacket is the right solution for everybody. But if you want be your manliest self, to have an impenetrable forest of black hair enshrouding your pathetically weak chin, then you have to try it.
It made me a real man, and it just might work for you, too.