Are you a new husband off on your dream European honeymoon with the love of your life, but have no idea which whorehouse to stop by while your wife is asleep?
Worry not! We found the top brothels in Europe for newlyweds who want to start their relationship off with a bang.
1.) Doble Almeja, Barcelona, Spain
Situated right on the main strip, Doble Almeja is the finest brothel Catalonia has to offer. While it can get a bit pricey, every order comes with a complimentary plate of paella featuring fresh-caught Mediterranean mussels and shrimp.
2.) Classico Romano, Rome, Italy
Modeled on the wild orgies ancient Rome was famous for, this classical bordello is both a fun time and a hands-on history lesson. Perfect for groups.
3.) La Famiglia Sconveniente, Palermo, Sicily, Italy
If you find yourself venturing from the Italian mainland down to the sleepy island of Sicily, be sure to stop by this local treasure. Just remember to bring plenty of cash and allot some extra time for the favor you’ll have to do to repay to the local Don after sleeping with his daughter.
4.) Das Auge, Munich, Germany
Munich has more to offer than just its famous beer and sausages, although both are in abundance at Das Auge. Nymph costumes and a blood offering are required for admission to this Pagan-themed underground establishment.
5.) Welcom Amerikan Bar, Bucharest, Romania
If you manage to come out of this one without getting murdered, we hear it’s a decent time.
6.) Hammer and Tickle, St. Petersburg, Russia
If you’re on a budget, service here is totally free! Simply fill out some paperwork, go through a three-month people’s indoctrination course, and take your pick of some of the most beautiful women Eastern Europe has to offer.
7.) Gluggaveður, Reykjavík, Iceland
Perhaps the most unpronounceable whorehouse on the list, Gluggaveður provides stunning views of Faxa Bay and the Reykjavík skyline. The staff is friendly but tend to smell like fermented shark meat.