PYEONGCHANG, South Korea – American rock band O.A.R. awoke on Monday shocked to find themselves in the middle of the championship run of the Olympic four-man bobsled.
“Man, that was a crazy game of poker,” said a hungover Marc Roberge, referring to the previous night’s bender. “How did we end up in South Korea?”
The band was reportedly partying at Caesar’s Palace after their Las Vegas gig when they were accosted by Russian agents representing the “Olympic Athletes from Russia.”
“Those dudes said something about needing clean urine and next thing I knew, we woke up in a bobsled,” said drummer, Chris Culos, referring to the band’s record-shattering run and the first Russian gold of the 2018 games.
The victory was subsequently overturned after the International Olympic Committee tested the music group and found “all the drugs.”