Trying to explain to him the investigation that indicted 13 Russian nationals for interfering in the 2016 election, Robert Mueller clarified to a pantless, bent-over President Donald Trump that he was not there for “that type of probe.”
“Mr. President, please pull up your trousers,” said Mueller, shielding his eyes. “We’ve gone over this before. I’m not here to put anything in your anus.”
While there are no allegations of Americans knowingly participating in the scheme, many have blamed the President for denying Russian interference for months. Trump holds that his campaign did not collude with Russia, and that Mueller can dig “as deep as he wants” but won’t find anything dirty.
“The probe is a dead end no matter how far down this rabbit hole he goes,” tweeted President Trump. “It’s just another hoax concocted by the mainstream media to get inside me. #mybuttisclean.”
Before ending the session, the two discussed the possibility that the judge might pass a gag order to prevent details of the case from being discussed in public.
Added Mueller as he left the meeting, “No, Mr. President, not that type of gag order.”