In a display of affection for Valentine’s Day, local tomcat Snickers seduced a she-cat and nearby territory owner with a “stunning bouquet” of eviscerated mice.
“I hope she likes it,” said the three-year-old tabby, gently fluffing each mouse’s corpse with his paw. “I wasn’t sure if she preferred them with their spines broken or with their stomachs torn open, so I got her a little of each.”
For months Snickers had been trying to woo other felines in the area with regurgitated hairballs and paralyzed chipmunks, but to no avail. He says he initially thought about getting her a corsage of dead birds, but he eventually opted for the more traditional gift.
“Wow. He must have put a lot of work into this,” said Gypsy, the four-year-old Abyssinian. “There’s mice from all corners of the neighborhood. Basement mice, yard mice, and my favorite: sewer mice with their heads ripped off.”
Despite their initial courtship, neither cat is certain whether they will be getting together for a second date.
“Honestly, I’m probably just gonna sleep for a month,” said Snickers.