Jeff Morris, who walked out of a company sales meeting seven minutes ago and has not yet returned, is clearly taking a massive shit, coworkers say.
“Man, Jeff must really be blowing it up in there,” said sales manager Rob Carroll. “If it was only two or three minutes, he might trick us into thinking he’s taking a whiz. But it’s been a full seven, eight at least.”
Carroll says he first noticed Morris fidgeting in his chair while Sharon from HR went over the new equal opportunity policy. Others say they heard his guts grumbling as sweat accumulated on his forehead during Chris’s presentation of last quarter’s numbers.
“I bet he had tacos for lunch, maybe even shawarma,” said operations coordinator Michelle Vasquez. “He didn’t even try to disguise it by pretending to take a phone call. We’re probably talking explosive diarrhea.”
While Morris’s colleagues admit they empathize with his situation, they said it won’t stop them from spending the remainder of the meeting speculating on how violent his current bowel movement is.
“It happens, you know. We’ve all been there,” said Carroll. “But I’m still totally gonna judge him.”