BMW announced today that its highly anticipated self-driving car will come with a first-of-its-kind self-flipping middle finger.
“With this feature, we really wanted to free up our customers’ hands so they could focus on the important things, like honking maniacally and threatening to shoot other drivers in the face like a lunatic,” said BMW spokesman Carl Schwartz. “In testing, we noticed that the less time our customers had to spend flipping the bird, the more time they could spend throwing rolls of pennies at cars that are going too slow.”
Although it is designed to enhance rather than replace road rage options, some long-time enthusiasts are skeptical that the feature will take away from the authentic BMW experience.
“How is this thing supposed to tell if I just want a ‘get off the road you incompetent jerk’ middle finger or an ‘I’m going to murder your family if you don’t change lanes’ one?” asked Brian Evans as he peeled away screaming at an elderly pedestrian.
Schwartz admitted that, while BMW is still working out some kinks with the technology, it should be commercially available by 2019.
“Once we get it synchronized with our Reckless Abandon™ lane-swerving sensors, it should be ready for the masses,” he said.