COLUMBUS, Ohio — Shamelessly deciding he was just a bit too sore to hit the gym yesterday afternoon, local bro Chet Bradley recklessly skipped leg day.
Now he’s DEAD.
How did it happen? His gym buddy came clean that Bradley had been on a slippery slope since he stopped taking creatine three weeks ago.
“You think you know a guy, but then he goes and pulls a stunt like this,” said Mitch Hardlust, who has now lost three lifting partners due to leg day-related deaths. “It just doesn’t make sense. He loved that squat rack.”
Hardlust says he had warned Bradley in the past about the dangers of skipping the holiest day of the week. He had even seen a decrease in Bradley’s mass in the days leading up to the incident and had advised him to up his protein intake, but a cynical Bradley just wouldn’t listen.
“I was like, ‘Bro, you can’t skip leg day now or you’ll die,’” recalled Hardlust. “But he was all like, ‘Bro I’ll just make it up on Wednesday. I need to pick my kids up from school.’ Gotta prioritize.”
A family without a father. A gym crew in tatters. All because one man was too selfish to lift legs, and too stupid to realize the errors of his ways.